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Why Do Unhappy Couples Stay Together?

posted by Samantha X January 13, 2015 2 Comments

This is excellent reading. I hear many stories from men – and women – who are in unhappy marriages and have been for years. I do wonder whether staying for the kids is the right thing or not.

Personally, I decided that a happy mummy and a happy daddy in two homes was better than one home filled with tension for the sake of keeping up appearances. But we are all different…

http://www.dailylife.com.au/life-and-love/love,-sex-and-relationships/why-do-unhappy-couples-stay-together-20150112-12mhjo.html

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2 Comments

Kevin Benson January 17, 2015 at 6:46 pm

Maybe its a case of money, like mortgage or family business. Could be fear of starting again with someone else. People have their unique issues but its a lousy environment for children. In my family circle it almost wrecked the children. As they got older various things started appearing. The parents did separate, later divorced.

Our family circle is kinda large and various members took on the children until more permanent arrangements emerged. The children now are in good shape but it gave us all lots of heartache getting there.

I think children are better placed living with one parent if its possible and suitable or related family if parents are almost always at each others throat. But it does depend on the circumstances, like access, work commitments, suitable accommodation and willingness to put the children first no matter what.

Samson Wrightning January 18, 2015 at 2:19 pm

Frankly I believe that many adults toy around with the lives of kids because of selfishness in pursuance of their adults’ rights. The process of moving a kid from one carer to another before finally finding a permanent home actually destroys the kids emotionally!

Research has shown that the window for normal emotional development of kids is first 2-3 years of life. That someone grows to be an adult does not mean they have had a normal development. Emotionally no. The period parents spend arguing and failing to cooperate ensures that this window passes without recognition. Can adults patiently cooperate while the child goes through that period or should they be selfish, “I want to live my life?”

When you decide to have kids, there is a responsibility to cooperate to raise them. It is a responsibility you have and the right of the kid. When that role is passed on to relations unnecessarily, it is not only selfish but failing to recognize the responsibility. I recognize some genuine cases happen. However, while I cannot say what yardstick must be used for divorce of parents, I believe in modern times, many cases are purely a pursuance of rights to the exclusion of responsibilities!

Look no further than CI channel on FOXTEL! This channels shows day in day out what selfish adults we are and how our selfishness drives us to the extreme!

Kids are the grass in the battle of parental elephants. Adults need to know that they owe kids the right of a peaceful home and may need to compromise on their adults’ rights to achieve that.

The responsibility of looking after kids means we have to forgo some of our rights to achieve the desired outcome. Consequently, I feel divorce, where there are kids already in the relationship should be carefully considered and never rushed into.

If we do not teach our kids how to handle responsibility and rights, we may send them on the pathway of unstable relationships. This will manifest in more divorces as we already see in society and in many other areas such as where loyalty to state or organizations matter. Kids learn more by what they see than what you tell them.

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