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The non-dickhead policy

August 3, 2018 0 comments
Curious to know how many silly billys you get enquiring weekly? With the hi, or the hey, or the u available.  As I can totally relate (although I’m just a relaxing massage therapist, I choose to specialise in men only) but the amount of dickhead enquiries I receive is a weekly occurrence.  The law should bring in some sort of a non-dickhead text policy.  I get the same hi, can we meet up, are you working & the list of hilarious dickhead enquiries is continuous.  My ads may be a bit cheeky with a photo attached of a bikini clad me but there is always a photo too of a mans leg or back being massaged to show the boys this is a business, mens massage relieving renewing. It still doesn’t warrant all wank enquirers. I’ve done my relevant courses in the beauty industry & I have massaged many men, I deal professionally and personally with them.


Dear Massage Lady,

How many messages a week do I get from ‘silly billies?’ Too many! I state very very clearly in my profile that I have a zero-dickhead policy and I also state exactly how to write a message, e.g., Dear Samantha, my name is X, I am AGE, etc.’  Yet I still get plenty of ‘Hi babe, U available PLZ BABE’- and if I am lucky, a rather unflattering photograph of their penis.

I cannot even begin to fathom how these men get around their daily lives. One can only assume that either mummykins is running around after them – or quite simply – they masquerade as bankers and take the mask off at night. HA HA!
Sam x








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