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Shy guy

May 6, 2018

Hi Sam, I’m a 32 year old male and I was a little late to the world of sex and still say I lack a lot of confidence.  It effects me in chasing people I like to ask them with the fear if we have sex that will end everything and won’t go and further.  Have you got any advice you could give me?


Dear Shy Boy,

Here’s the thing: most relationships end. Depressing thought isn’t it (unless you are in a relationship with a narcissistic and then you can thank the Lord it won’t be forever)… So to answer your fear about everything ending one day, it probably will. But that’s OK! Because you will meet someone else, and after her, someone else! Unless you are one of the (lucky?) few that meet their soul mate at 15, marry at 18 and spend the rest of their lives in bliss, the chances are you will do what is the new norm – have a series of experiences and relationships with different people to compliment different stages of your life. Never fear endings. Endings as painful as they can be are new beginnings. Endings are something to be celebrated. As for sex ending everything? It’s surprising to hear a man say that; usually women fear if they give themselves early, he will lose interest. Times are changing. Sex is sex is sex. You can’t have an intimate relationship without sex. It doesn’t matter if you put if off a week or a month – if the relationship is meant to be, it will be. Take the pressure off and relax. Everything will be OK.

Sam x

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