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It’s the Ashley Madison hackers who should be ashamed

posted by Samantha X August 24, 2015 1 Comment

There’s a group of people who have made worldwide headlines recently for their disgusting and unethical behaviour.

A group of selfish low-lifes who have used the internet for their questionable morals which will result in millions of peoples’ lives being ruined; divorces, splits, nasty confrontations, tragically even suicides.

Yep, I’m talking about the hackers. That moronic do-good “holier than thou” bunch of nitwits who hacked the Ashley Madison website and gleefully posted the personal details of millions of its members for all and sundry to see.

I am appalled. Who the hell do these people think they are? What right do they have in judging the actions of complete strangers? They claim to be punishing Ashley Madison but really they’ve just helped destroy the personal lives of millions.

Whoop de woo. People cheat. Yes, shock horror! Millions of people around the world are so unhappy in their marriages they need to look elsewhere for intimacy.

Excuse me for asking, but why is that anybody’s business apart from their own? What right do the hackers have for naming and shaming? Some form of misguided punishment?

Here’s the thing. Man meets woman. Everything is rosy. You get married, have kids. The banality of real life gets in the way; needs aren’t being met, kids, work … before you know it, you’re sleeping in separate beds.

You have more in depth conversations with your barista and the only living thing that gets excited when you get home is your dog. But every time you dare broach the subject you get your head bitten off. So you are better off keeping the peace. The weeks roll into months … then years.

You are starving for any intimacy. You’ll take anything. So you sign up to this website to see what the fuss is all about. And you know the rest of the story.

Does this person deserve to have his/her name plastered up on some website for the rest of the world to gleefully judge them? Of course they bloody don’t.

What these do-gooder hackers don’t understand is that behind every action is a human emotion and a story.

There is no doubt cheating is hurtful. We’ve either all done it or had it done to us. But I have a theory; happy people don’t cheat. People who are in happy, contented relationships where both needs are being met do not feel the need to look elsewhere.

Sure, of course communication always trumps deceitful behaviour. Talking to your partner is always going to be the preferred option. But have you tried talking to your loved one about how your intimate needs aren’t being met after you’ve both come home from work and the kids are crying? Did you get your dinner plate thrown at your head?

Here’s a confession: I WAS A MEMBER OF ASHLEY MADISON. Years ago, when I was sleeping in separate bedrooms to my then-partner and crying myself to sleep most nights, I joined this website in search of … well I don’t know. Was it sex? Was it intimacy? I didn’t find either. But I did meet a few men whose stories I’ve heard on-repeat these past few years — different names, different lives, but one thing in common: they are all desperately searching for something more than sex. It made me realise my relationship was over. I moved out and I deleted my profile.

So bloody what?

Yes, cheating’s wrong and can have a detrimental effect on a family. So can drinking too much and taking drugs. Are the hackers going to infiltrate AA now? What about gambling addicts? Do they deserve to have their identity publicised because they are doing the wrong thing?

Or people that work too much: should we name and shame workaholics because they are ruining their family life?

What’s next — throwing people off buildings because of their sexuality?

Since when do a bunch of tech nerds have the right to pass their moral judgment on others?

I don’t judge cheaters but I do question marriage. It’s hard, it’s unrealistic and it’s outdated.

But that’s a rant for another day…

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1 Comment

Samantha Servold September 21, 2016 at 7:56 am

I don’t really think it’s so cut and dry. When cheating happens, there’s usually mistakes on both sides of the fence. Personal issues aside, most people want to see themselves in a better light and portray that side when telling their story. It’s very true that it’s not anyone’s business when a married individual cheats besides those involved, except someone is usually left out of the loop. Life, family, and marriage isn’t easy. I would rather be in an open relationship, however, than left in the dark.

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