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My partner gets erotic massages

posted by Samantha X March 4, 2018
Hi Samantha,

When I was 8 months pregnant I discovered my partner was going to get “massages” aka happy ending ones. I was devastated and angry. I spent a lot of time digging through his details and found in four months he had spent thousands on this.
He went to therapy and said he was cured. But I still doubt him. This last weekend he went to Melbourne and came back with all his clothes laundered. He couldn’t explain why. I suspect he is back at it. Our baby is now 9 months old. Should I just walk as once a cheat always a cheat? Or should I not get hung up on this as according to him it means nothing ie he is not cheating, as not sex. For me it’s cheating as he chooses the girls, he wants someone to touch him. And it’s not like I don’t give him sex – even throughout my pregnancy I felt sexy and we had sex weekly.

Confused as to what I should do….


Dear A,

I hate to say it but I called my first book Hooked for a reason – the industry is hard to leave – not just for the women – but for the clients too. You say your husband went to therapy and was ‘cured’ of wanting to visit massage parlours? I am sorry but I find this hard to believe. If only ‘addictions’ were that easy to cure. You ask me do I think he will change? The answer is no. He may stop seeking sexual services for a few weeks or months, but the urge will come back and the parlour doors will be beckoning him again. More to the point, do you want to live in nail biting fear every time he walks out of the door? In my eyes you have two choices – leave, or do what most wives do – turn a blind eye. A wife called me once as she had the same issue – she caught her husband out seeing escorts. He broke down and swore never to do it again. She asked me whether she should believe him. I said no. I used to have clients that have been caught by their wives, they’ve tearfully promised never to do it again, and once the dust has settled, they come back. They always do.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but I am a big believer in knowledge is power not ignorance is bliss. Good luck.
Sam x










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