I’m an open minded attractive 40 something woman who works in the beauty industry and genuinely enjoys sex. So tell me why my first husband visited prostitutes our whole marriage and I’ve just caught my second husband who I idolise secretly asking another woman to lunch whom he met through a business conference. He swears they were only friends but had hidden texts and phone calls and not told me of their “friendship”. She’s a long haired blonde who rides motorbikes and races cars and very much a tomboy. As I also contacted her she swears it was only professional & nothing more.
Am I right to assume it’s more because he hid the contact from me? Do all men cheat? I’m starting to hate all men.
Thanks darl. xx
Dear Concerned Wife,
I feel your pain, but please don’t hate men. I firmly believe that not all men cheat. A lot do, I would say most would given the opportunity, but not all. (And bizarrely enough, most men think seeing escorts is not cheating. The last client that said that to me, I passed him his phone and said he should invite his wife).
Anyway – back to your situation. You’ve either got shocking taste in men and have a radar for arseholes, or there’s something going on. Probably both. Your first husband is history and a dickhead, so let’s forget him. But husband number two who has been trying to arrange dates with long-haired blondes behind your back.. Yes you are right to assume he is a cheater. He IS cheating. Maybe not between the sheets yet, but the intent is there. You have clear evidence his is lying. You say you ‘idolise’ him. Does this mean you ignore his faults? Has your idolising meant you’ve neglected to pick up on a few alarm bells? I don’t need to tell you about him – you know. Your gut does and it never lies. If something doesn’t seem right, it’s not right. Ask him what the hell is going on and if you aren’t satisfied with his answer, seek counselling with him and/or kick him to the kerb. I have zero tolerance for liars. Once a cheater, always a cheater and you deserve better. It’s out there.
Good luck x