Dear Samantha X,
My transgender fiance is tall dark and gorgeous. Men fall all over themselves to get her attention. They are constantly propositioning her and she
thinks she’d like to take some of that “money off the table”. My fear…and there are many. Is that my jealousy would tear us apart, she’d be hurt or worse, she’d leave me for a wealthy guy…you name it, I am terrified of it. But then, if i stand in her way of making more money she’ll resent me and that will tear us apart. It’s a Hobson’s choice for sure. Any thoughts or helpful suggestions?
I love this question for many reasons. Firstly, it brings transsexuals into the mix. I’ll be honest, I had no idea about the trans world until recently. Are trans men or women gay? What sort of partners do they attract? Are men who seek out transsexuals gay, straight or bisexual? Does it really matter anyway? Here’s the deal: when it comes to the adult industry, anything goes. Trans escorts do extremely well – they have the whole kit and caboodle going on – boobs and a penis. And 99% of their clients are men who identify as straight. I have a very lovely escort trans friend and the stories she tells me would blow your cotton socks off. But I digress. The fact your fiancé is trans is quite irrelevant to your predicament. She could be a completely ‘normal’ stunning woman who gets so much attention from men, she feels she may as well capitalise on it. So let’s remove the trans issue, and make it a trust and jealousy issue. I would ask yourself, do you trust her? Then I would ask yourself, do you feel worthy to be her partner? Why do you assume you aren’t good enough to keep her?
Then I would ask yourself, would you want your fiancé working as an escort? (Can I assure you escorts rarely marry their clients….and if they do, it rarely lasts). But I would ask your partner; is making money more important that the relationship? Is she that strapped for cash, or is it a secret desire? If she starts working, she will need your support, but if she goes ahead without your support, I would question whether this is the right relationship for you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with escorting, but there is just more than one person to think about when you make a commitment to another person. You can’t control people, and you can’t control whether she stays with you or runs off with someone else. But what you can do is finely tune your own boundaries and know what works for you and what doesn’t. There comes great power with not being afraid to walk away.