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Couples who sleep together, stay together

January 23, 2017 2 Comments

I must say, I was pretty surprised that such a young cool couple like Nova breakfast host Wippa and his wife Lisa admit to sleeping in separate rooms.

Or that not sharing the same bedroom is “our idea of heaven” says beautiful radio host Zoe Marshall, married to hot NRL star Benji.

Today show host Sylvia Jeffries admits that she and her husband Peter Stefanovic sleep separately but “only when they are sick”.

Seriously? At such a young age and exciting stage in their marriage too.

Get used to the peace guys, because the next step will be not only sleeping in different rooms, but living in completely separate homes.

Let me tell you something you won’t like, but you need to hear. As an escort, I spend an awful lot of time with men from all walks of life who are married or have been married. This is what I hear time and again: the first crack that started to appear in their relationship was when they decided to sleep in separate bedrooms (and nine times out of 10 it is the woman who wanted those sleeping arrangements).

Whether it was his deafening snoring, his bad back, or the way he hogs all the bed sheets — there are a million and one excuses why different bedrooms seems such a sensible, practical idea.

“Everyone can get a good night’s sleep and be fresh in the morning!”

“We can get on with our day without yawning!”

“We are both so rested in the morning that we are in better moods!”

How lovely!

Except — what happened to the sleepy morning sex before the kids get up? Or the cuddles in the night when the rain is belting down, and you want your partner close? Or your feet cosily entwining as you drift off?

I know a happy couple in their 70s who swear the key to their successful marriage is falling asleep holding hands every night.

And when the hell do you have sex? 7.30pm every Friday night when the kids are watching The Simpsons?

One client, a lawyer in his 50s, told me he hadn’t slept in the same bed with his wife in 15 years. And they hadn’t had sex with each other in seven years. He came to me for intimacy, not porn star sex; as do most clients. He books for me overnights and we hold hands as we sleep.

Another client, let’s call him Jon, takes me overseas twice a year. Not for sex (we barely touch), but because his wife doesn’t travel and he is sick to death of “table for one”, let alone bed for one.

The number one request from men? Not whether I would whip them while wearing latex (thank god) but whether I offer kissing and cuddling as part of my service.

These men don’t want to pay thousands of dollars for an escort. They would much rather be with the women they love — believe me.

It’s just they don’t feel very loved anymore.

We are humans and we need human touch. The only time I sleep alone is… actually I don’t. If my kids aren’t there (my eight-year-old daughter always creeps into my bed), then it’s the Rosie the rottweiler who sleeps with me. I always need something to cuddle in bed.

If you are lucky enough to have met the person of your dreams, then for god’s sake, sleep with them. Because in my experience, couples who don’t sleep together, don’t stay together.

Sam X

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Paull MC BRIEN January 24, 2017 at 12:14 am

Sam 99% of us are all little boys or girls and as such we crave being held,being touched, being loved .
I stayed in a relationship for 4 years without realizing the reason why . It certainly wasn’t the sex , it was to be loved,needed to be part of couple . Its to share intimacy with that someone who loves us . Now maybe I just a dickhead or just unlucky but twice when I was hospitalised and at my most venerable and weakest point in my life my partners have left me high and dry . I work in animal rescue and I can honestly say I know how it feels to be thrown away
I think now that Im perhaps an old soul and that the animals I rescue know that and trust me . I would give anything to find some to love but I have to admit Im pretty jaded as there just as many abusive nasty soul destroying women out thee as there are men .
I would never book you for porn star sex ;-)) xoxo

Kevin Benson February 20, 2017 at 7:38 pm

Refer “Couples who sleep Together stay together” Reading comments about touching, body contact, knowing and feeling another close presence. It really came home to me how important physical contact is. Very surprised at couples who dont sleep together – snoring aside – could be the job and what comes with it I suppose. Physical touch can say SO much. WE were at a spirituality centre on weekend with a very varied mix of people present. My wife fell into conversation with a 90 year old religious short time later they both hugged each other several minutes. We spoke about this ourselves and my wife spoke about the loneliness felt by this man. We believe there was kinda healing comfort in her action. Later we fell into deeper conversation with him and he was prompted to whistle a particular tune special to my wife which my wife sang the words to.
Quite a magical moment and special to us as the others had gone, so just us. I think we will keep in touch. But today touching is complicated.I was leaving a job and the young receptionist just hugged me, no words said and I never saw her again. But can a man hug a woman today? How would it be received? Would depend on circumstances certainly and no ulterior motives.
This society has fear of intimacy. All kinds of reasons.Pained by a lost love.Too much emphasis on sex and too many expectations. So many struggle yet the desire to be loved remains. Does’nt mean marriage,living together necessarily but it means that you know you are loved.Where to find such a love? I believe its in people and you can find it if make no stipulations that demand great change in the other. We just not perfect people times wonder why my amazing wife stays.

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