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April 19, 2018

Dear Samatha,

I’m a single 38 year old living in Sydney. Generally speaking I often get complimented about my looks and why I’m still single and haven’t been snapped up so to speak with all my mates happily married with kids etc it’s hard to catch up or meet up for a drink etc. I do admit I’m shy at times to make the move and I’m picky as well.

Lately a young lady has caught my eye on instagram who resides in my mother country in Europe. At times I’ll like her photos and at times leave a compliment, nothing sleazy, or pick up type of compliments or to win brownie points, then a few days later she would block me which has me puzzled and questioning myself why, how etc and have been in contact with her over facebook where she did reply once.

I’d like your advice on this situation from a female perspective on why this might be the case. Should I let this get to me and how do I get her attention and or open the communication lines between us.



Dear A,

Here’s the thing: Instagram, Facebook and Twitter are NOT dating websites.

Women don’t set up an Instagram account to be asked out by strange men they have never met and don’t know. We don’t like that. It’s intrusive, and overstepping a boundary. Just because you like someone’s photo, or they like yours, is not an invitation to send them a private message asking them out. If they don’t reply, leave it. You say she blocked you – which proves my point. Just because you are peering into someone’s world on social media does not mean you ‘know’ them, as harmless as your message probably was. Here’s something you may not realise: women get hounded on social media by strange men from all over the world daily. Some messages are polite, others are rude, crude or entitled. It doesn’t really matter.  I’ve lost count how many messages from men telling me they ‘love’ me, then who get upset or angry when I don’t respond. It puts the woman in a difficult position of not wanting to offend you but not wanting the attention. Just don’t do it. Keep your ‘love’ for women on Instagram to yourself and if it is love you are searching for, sign up to a dating agency or Tinder!

Sam x

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